marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I accidentally had phone sex last night
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
