Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
