What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
