She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
