idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
