oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My dick has a subreddit
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
