I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we're making bets on your personal life
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
