Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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