Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
