three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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