can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
