White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
