we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
