I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
