I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
