I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
