i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I got inside last night via doggy door
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
