I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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