Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
