I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
