All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i would punch a child for taco bell
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
