is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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