I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
