it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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