i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She even gives head with a lisp.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
