I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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