You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
