I don't think brook has ever known best
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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