I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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