Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
