At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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