I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
