I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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