Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
