hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
