Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
