I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
