Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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