Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
