I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we're chasing vodka with high fives
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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