I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
