He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
