You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Pants are for mortals
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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