Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
