Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
