before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
