Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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