so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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