idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
