pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
